Back From Tioman Island

"It says: I missed you, Alexander."

We picked up Alexander on Friday after his 5 day school expedition to Tioman Island. I don't know who was more excited: Alexander, recounting his amazing adventure in the Malaysian jungle, or his little sister, who had prepared a welcome card to give him on his return (see photo above)?
Here, are just a few of the trip's highlights that he told us about on the car ride home:

1) It was awesome, Mom. We had a 4 hr bus ride, a 2 hr boat ride, and a 10 km trek through the jungle.

2) We couldn't always see sunlight and had to walk over branches. Luckily I brought water.

3) My cabin mate had something called conjunctivitis. I don't think it's contagious.

4) It was nice to chat late at night even though our beds were filled with sand.

5) There was a cool bouncing two hour boat ride. It made me feel a little sick but not too bad.

6) The ocean was beautiful but there were these sharp and pointy bones in it.

7) We had a talent show and us boys did a Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. It was so funny.

8) Snorkeling was super fun. Except for the small stings from the sea lice.

9) I got 20 mosquito bites on my first night.

10) They left us for 30 minutes in the jungle on our own for solo time. I may have seen a snake.

Yes, Alexander has always been this enthusiastic. On his first day of school this year, even after he discovered his two best friends had been moved to another class together, he still returned home and announced: "I have a feeling this is going to be the best year ever!"

At the pick-up location, his teacher and other supervisors all made a thumbs up sign in his direction and congratulated me on his great attitude during the trip.

I really felt like I should come clean and said: "Thanks, but that's all him." Not really an outdoorsy person, here. You wouldn't have gotten that much enthusiasm from me. Especially not during the long trek to the cabins. My high school gym teacher told me I was part of the No Sweat Society. My college roommates asked me (within hours of meeting me): "You've never been to camp have you?" I guess, asking them to leave the room so I could change was a dead giveaway.

Anyway, as Alexander told me all about his unforgettable foray into the wild, I realized just how different our perception of what constitutes an amazing holiday is (Aqua di Parma toiletries and espresso machines figure prominently in mine).
More importantly, I want him to stay this way. An unbelievably excited, unjaded eleven year old boy. I want to quote Federico Fellini and tell him: "Never lose your childish enthusiasm..."

Don't Be Your Own Worst "Emeny!"

"He's my bruder."

Yesterday, Alexander left for a 5 day school expedition to Tioman Island in Malaysia (4 hr bus ride, 2hr ferry ride, and an 10 km trek through the jungle to get there... seriously?) I can't wait to find out how his clothing choice for a trek in the jungle (let's call it casual chic) worked out after he rejected my t-shirt suggestion. That will have to be another post but in the meantime, you can check out his trip from last year here: http://diaryofanexpatinsingapore.blogspot.sg/2011/09/all-grown-up.html

Eliot took her big brother's departure much better than the first time he ever went away. She was only four at the time and it was brutal. As he left, she cried out desperately: "But he's my bruder and I love him." Now that Eliot is seven, things are a bit different. She still misses him but she is also basking in the glory of our undivided attention. And since she's home with a fever, it's normal attention multiplied by ten. Which is probably why I ended up doing what I usually refuse to do: voices. Let me explain.
All parents have some hidden talent. That secret thing they reserve for rainy days, emergency situations, visits with other children they are never going to see again. Magic tricks, baking cookies, crafts...I'm not good at any of these. If you hand me a paper and a crayon you are guaranteed a stick figure. Not surprisingly, the kids never ask me to draw anything for them.
What I am pretty decent at is voicing inanimate objects and making up stories. My children find this very entertaining (they don't get out a lot). I also do accents. The problem is that, even after two hours, they want more: "Do it again." Even after it's not funny anymore: "Do it again. Like you did before. Make it funnier."

There's really no point here (see mental exhaustion) except for this: wait till the child is at least 18 to unveil that special talent you may have. Preferably on his way to college. That may sound cruel but if you're a parent you'll understand. "Kid, people get paid to make jokes. It's called stand up comedy."
On the plus side, when the laughter subsides, you may finally get answers to some burning questions:
"So Eliot, this boy you are always mentioning...do you like  him?"
What? He's my worst emeny!!

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

"Mommy, you are way prettier than Cruella De Vil."

Wow, thanks. Way prettier than Cruella De Vil...that's awesome.
Just so you know, kid, that's not exactly the type of compliment I was aiming for. Nor is it going to help you get a new puppy. I don't care how cute those dalmatians look.
But maybe I'm too sensitive. To be way prettier than Cruella de Vil, is really not so bad.
Especially considering that just moments before Eliot was asking me: "Mommy, are you Santa?" (I see why Eliot might be thinking of Christmas, it being 100 degrees and all.)

At first, like all cunning parents suddenly faced with a child's doubt about the man in red, I panic. I guess it had to happen one day, but she's only seven. What was it that gave me away? Did she find her old Dear Santa letters stashed away at the bottom of my closet...was it something I said?
Why do you ask?
"Well, Mommy, it's just that I never get what I want."
Now, wait a minute here. You think I'm Santa because you don't get what you want. Seriously, who needs enemies when you have kids? This could be my lowest point as a parent (no, I'm not counting the time she got lost on an island).

"Last summer I saw a heart locket in a store in Verona so I put it on my list to Santa but never got it. I know Santa would have just gotten it for me because he could fly there and then come back and put it under our tree here in Singapore. But you can't just fly back and forth...so you're Santa, right?"

Is this a trick question? Do you have any idea how many air miles Santa has?

10 Things I Didn't Know About Dubai

"Finally, a driver who doesn't talk back."

I just got back from a 36 hr whirlwind trip to Dubai where I discovered a thing or two I didn't know about this Arabic gem in the middle of the desert.


1) Petrol is cheaper than water. Literally.

2) Water is very expensive.

3) Dubai is not the capital of the U.A.E. Abu Dhabi is.

4) The specialty in Dubai is bread. For those coming from Asia, the absence of rice may come as a refreshing surprise...or shock.

5) Chinatown is a mall.

6) Bus stops along the streets have air conditioning.

7) If you see a group of tourists with a guide in your hotel, don't worry, they're actually on a tour.

8) There are pink taxi cabs driven by women that only pick up women (especially good if you're having a bad hair day). Women can also go in the cabs driven by men, hence, it's the men who actually have less choice.

9) High speed sand driving on desert dunes...not for everybody.

10) There is a souk (Arab market place) which is actually an exact replica of what you think a souk would be like. It's not ironic.

In Dubai, there is the biggest mall in the world, the highest building in the world, the largest aquarium in the world...the list goes on. It's almost as though the urban planners get together once a week, hopped up on coffee, check out the guinness book of world records, and say: "You know what would be cool? The biggest....(fill in the blank)."
It's an architect's dream location.
So, if you are an aspiring architect who loves olives, hummus, camel rides, and swimming with dolphins... this is the place for you.
Small tip: Fly Emirates, the tiny cans with coke written in Arabic make great souvenirs for the kids waiting at home.

Nature vs Nurture

"Wait...take a photo of them first."

Alexander and Eliot grew up in the same household with the same parents, the same amount of love, the same rules...even the same scary bedtime stories (previously covered in http://diaryofanexpatinsingapore.blogspot.sg/2012/09/move-over-hunger-games_26.html).
Yet, they are undoubtedly different. How different? Enough to make me a strong believer in nature over nurture.

For example, unlike Alexander, Eliot prefers to set rather than clear the table.
She carries the crystal vase bought in Dublin from across the room (yes, I do hold my breath), uses the linen napkins, and places the mats equidistant from each other. Alexander, on the other hand, is the speedy gonzales of table clearers...he even leaves behind a few crumbs for good measure.

When Eliot doesn't want to go to school it's usually because she hasn't finished an assignment. That has never stopped Alexander.

While Alexander, if allowed, could watch endless hours of television (ranging from Mythbusters to Navy Seals Training specials), if the show Eliot likes isn't on, she just turns off the TV (what a novel idea) and plays in her room.

Eliot seems to get more attached to her things than Alexander. Yesterday, after agreeing to throw away her first grade gym shoes, requested a photo of them first. So that she could remember them.  I could go on and on...but I won't. You're welcome.

The basic point of this post is that if you're a parent ...don't worry too much. Sure, you'll be the first person to be blamed when things go south but really it's out of your hands. You're just in the passenger seat. Nature is running the show and, incidentally, monopolizing the shoe closet space.

Calogero Failla: Black Swan of Singapore

Black Swan of Singapore

Remember the psychological thriller Black Swan, starring oscar winner Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, and Vincent Cassel? Who knew you could find that much intrigue, jealousy, and ambition in a ballet company? Calogero Failla, that's who. Over coffee yesterday, I had a chat with this Italian export who is now a professional dancer at the Singapore Dance Theater. Failla, who has travelled the world for his art, left home at just fifteen. And if he had to do it over again? He would leave at nine.
Here are my 10 questions to an expat (edited version), for the unedited you'll have to wait for the book!

1) So Calogero, how long have you lived in Singapore?
Six months.

2) Where are you from originally?
Ragusa, Sicily.

3) What brought you here?
Ballet. I don't travel for tourism, only for work.

4) What do you do in your spare time?
I don't like to go out drinking or to discos...I like to sit in a cafe' and write. Poems and stories.

5) What do you like about Singapore?
People are quite reserved here. Although, sometimes they are too detached. The pas de deux is like making love...it takes two people. Otherwise it doesn't work. Ballet may belong to everybody but it is not for everybody.

6) Interesting. So what do you like least?
The weather and the food.

7) Never leave the house without?
A notebook and a pen.

8) Best weekend trip?
I usually work on weekends. The daily regime of a dancer is very tough. If we have no shows on the weekend and are not on tour, I usually just take it easy.

9) Interesting fact people don't know about you?
I know how to cook. My specialty is pasta with red pesto. I will have to make it for you one day.

10) Gladly. So what advice would you give someone who is about to move here?
Go back. Just kidding. But seriously, it depends on what you want to do here. Asia is not for everybody.

Stuff First Time Visitors to Singapore Say

"So this is Singapore?!"

1) It's like being on vacation.
2) Is it always so hot here?
3) It doesn't look like it's going to rain.
4) Why is the air con on all the time?
5) Can you turn the air con on?
6) I love walking.
7) Maybe we should take a taxi.
8) If I had a pool, I would always be by the pool.
9) I never get sunburnt...
10) Do they sell aloe vera?

10 Question To An Expat: Beautiful Brianna

Brianna with her lovely family

Introducing our expat of the month, Brianna Gardiol Foulds, beautiful wife and mother of three. When she's not training for a marathon, this Texan dynamo can be found at a Singapore Slingers game sporting cowboy boots and a huge smile.

1) So Brianna, how long have you lived in Singapore?
We moved here in October 2011, so about 16 months.

2) Where are you from originally?

I was born in Idaho but lived in Tokyo as a child. My family finally settled in Texas, which is where I moved to Singapore from.

3) What brought you here? 
My husband Todd's job. He manages a team for a US based tech company.

4) What do you do in your spare time?
My free time is pretty random and never scheduled far in advance. I volunteer at my kids' school, go running, catch a daytime movie with my friends. I think a course in hot yoga and hip hop would be fun.

5) What do you like best about Singapore?

I LOVE that I have made so many friends from Singapore and from all over the world. I get to learn about about so many different cultures and traditions. 

6) What do you like least?

Durian. Seriously...who thought it would be a good idea to put something that smelled that awful into your mouth?!

7) Never leave the house without?

A hair band and a scrunchie. I have to control my frizzy hair! If only I had lived here in the 80's my hair would be rockin'.

8) Best weekend trip?

We have not traveled a lot yet but we do have some trips coming up: Kota Kinabalu (on the island of Borneo in Malaysia), Khao Lak in Thailand, Beijing, and Siem Reap in Cambodia. I'm not sure which one I'm most excited for.

9) Interesting fact people don't know about you?
I started a facebook group because I couldn't find Cheez Wiz for a recipe for my first Thanksgiving dinner away from home. Yes, Cheez Wiz was the motivation behind a group that now has over 800 members in it. I also have a motorcycle license.

10) And finally, what advice would you give someone who is about to move here?
Be prepared for the ups and downs of being an expat. Not every day is going to be filled with rainbows and unicorns. But make the most of it because before you know it your assignment here will be over. 

Ten Sure Signs You Are At An International School in Singapore

"Please, sir, I want some more..."

A few weeks ago, I was invited to give a writing workshop at a prestigious international school in Singapore. As expected, it was great fun to meet such an engaged group of students. Afterwards, over a delicious meal of naan and curry, I wondered if there were any tell tale signs that I was at one of those landmark institutions in Singapore: the international school. 

Here's what I noticed:

1) The kids' sneakers cost more than my handbag.

2) There's an olympic sized pool.

3) There's kayaking for P.E.

4) Students walk around with water bottles. You know, for the drought you haven't heard about yet.

5) Lunchtime looks like a mini UN convention.

6) Kids have a hard time pronouncing their best friend's name. 

7) Field trips include skiing in the Alps and trekking in the Himalayas.

8) Kids only see their grandparents on skype.

9) On the day back from school holidays, most kids walk around in a jetlagged stupor.

10) The canteen has its own clay pot tandoori oven (see photo above).

Does The Tooth Fairy Come To Singapore?

Eliot lost another tooth. That is a big deal for a kid. Before bedtime, she wrote a carefully worded missive and wondered if the tooth fairy would be coming.
Because even a 7 yr old knows there are no certainties in life. Especially at night time.
A couple of nights ago, I read her a short story by Oscar Wilde called The Star Child. It's about a young boy who rejects his mother because she is a beggar woman. He was stolen from her as a baby in the forest and she only finds him after a desperate search that has lasted for years and left her destitute. But the child is not happy to see her since he had always imagined and told his friends he was a royal prince. He is disgusted by her ugliness and embarrassed by her poverty so he throws stones at her and calls her names. This image really upset Eliot, especially when I volunteered: "What if that were me?"
Last night, an old fear came back with a vengeance- her fear of crocodiles. Nothing I could say was comforting. Not even that there are no crocodiles in Singapore. She quickly pointed out: "What about the zoo? I saw one at the zoo." I ended up just sitting next to her and singing the song I used to sing when I rocked her to sleep as a baby Knick Knack Paddy Whack Give a Dog a Bone. She finally dozed off clutching my hand and her bear.
I definitely prefer her daytime fears: "I don't want to do a spelling test. I wish we could have a spice test, instead." Clearly, years of eating curry noodles have given her incredible confidence.
Do you still remember the things you feared as a child?

Signs You Are Not Slumming It In Singapore

It's a bargain!

1) You eat cheese.
2) You drink wine.
3) You have a car.
4) You have a child. That child goes to school.
5) You buy your fruit from Isetan.

(For reference: $59 sing dollars for 1 melon= 47 US dollars or 30 GB pounds or 35 euros.)
Unfortunately, I cut off the top part of the sign which says: On sale. At least, they have a sense of humor...I think.

Guess who went to school today...by mistake?

"Where is everybody?"

You might think, that after a two week Chinese New Year holiday, school would be starting on the Monday after the two weeks...you'd be wrong. Tell tale signs: deserted school, empty canteen, and no nurse measuring temperatures...school starts tomorrow (Tuesday).