|"So is it like Bridget Jones Diary...but set in the tropics?"|
2. Write about what you know.
3. Do not offend anybody.
|Optimistic editor: "You'll be fine."|
4. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
|"I said what?!"|
5. Engage your kids in publicity stunts (if you do not have kids...consider renting them).
|"Mommy, I'm tired."|
6. Choose your neighbors wisely.
|"Wasn't Malala just nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize? Look the guy who does Top Gear."|
7. It never hurts to have friends in high places.
|"Way better than The Hunger Games."|
|"But they're from Dubai."|
9. When the going gets tough...call in the team with swag.
|"How many copies do we have to sell before we can play Call of Duty?"|
10. Publishing Date Matters
|"Thank God, it's not the week Schwarzenegger's bio came out."|